I just dropped off my daughter at therapy and went to get a coffee and do my devotions. I sat out side and noticed this beautiful kitty looking around for crumbs. I smiled at first and then I saw how skinny and beaten she looks. It broke my heart. No lie. I started crying as I watched her, scared to death of every movement I made, eating tiny crumbs. I went back inside to buy a croissant to feed to her. The line started growing behind me as the barista took her time. Ended up she couldn’t find one. So I said ok just a bagel. Anything to feed this cat. Meanwhile I hear the people behind me grumbling how it’s taking forever, etc. 

I bought the bagel and threw a piece to her. At first she ran off then came back, took it and ran behind a bush. I threw another piece in hopes she would come back. She didn’t. Then I caught movement from the corner of my eye-she was in the bushes. Watching. I tossed another piece towards her. She walked slowly, sniffed it then took it away again. 

What could’ve happened to this poor kitty to make her so afraid of people? Was she beaten? Abandoned? Why wouldn’t she come back to get more food from me? I’m harmless and if she only knew the pain I feel for her. How much I want to pick her up, take her home, clean & feed her. Love on her. But there’s no way that would happen. 

It’s too late now to feed her more. Several others have sat down between her and I. So she will wait until everyone is gone and hope for crumbs. Yet she could’ve had the whole thing. I’ll leave pieces when I go. And try to throw some in the bushes when I leave. But it makes me wonder about my little girl. About all of us, really. But right now, about how much love and how many good things I’m offering her, yet she is so afraid. Every day she lives in fear. Fear of saying the wrong thing, getting into trouble, losing another family. I can’t make her trust me anymore than I can make the cat. And that frustrates me. I get so upset that she doesn’t just take freely what I’m giving. Kinda like we tend to do with God. 

He offered us everything we could ever need. And yet we still try to control things or do things on our own. Things become a mess and maybe we go to Him then, but if only we trusted Him enough to hand it all over. How much better would our lives be? Hmmm. Makes me think. Time to go get my daughter.